


what can i do (for you)

by cravethatcinnaroll



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Other characters are just mentioned, but might develop it more if i continue??, klance if u squint - Freeform, lance-centric cuz im trash, this is literally just langst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 16:27:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9770336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cravethatcinnaroll/pseuds/cravethatcinnaroll
Summary: All Lance wants is to be useful.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know what happened here

The initial realization was agonizing. It was like finding a tiny blemish on his seemingly flawless skin; the more Lance looked at it, the more obvious it became.

What he couldn't see was how on Earth--oh god, how he missed it--he could possibly fit in with all this magical destiny mumbo-jumbo. Lance wasn’t anything special, or important, or irreplaceable. He was just a boy from Cuba; no more, no less. 

Well...maybe a little less, if he was being honest with himself. Even back at the Garrison, full of childish hope and unreasonable dreams, he would fuck up constantly--more often than he cared to admit.

But even though he’d never acknowledged it aloud, he was always painfully aware of his own shortcomings, the way his myriad of mistakes would ruin things for not only himself, but for Hunk and Pidge as well, dragging down the team with the weight of his incompetence.

They didn't deserve that, to be stuck with some shoddy, second-rate cargo pilot. Hunk and Pidge were downright geniuses. Why should anyone with their level of brilliance have had to deal with a failure like him?

They would have been better off with Keith. 

Keith, the remarkable prodigy. Keith, the top of his class. Keith, who was everything Lance could never be.

Iverson always made sure to remind him. To put him in his place.

Lance was a fool. 

He was a fool to ever think that what he lacked in skill he could make up through hard work. No matter how much he studied, despite all those sleepless nights, one thing remained certain--he could never even come close to Keith’s natural talent.

It was glaringly obvious why Keith’s lion chose him. Fiery, instinctual--it was like he was made for Red. The same applied to Shiro, the born leader. Pidge, the daring intellectual. Hunk, the kind-hearted pillar of support. 

Lance, the...well, he just didn't know.

Lance, the irritating jokester? Lance, the obnoxious flirt? Lance, the useless weak link? Yeah, that sounded just about right.

Even after bonding with Blue, he couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't really needed. His lion had probably picked him out of desperation, or convenience, or simply by accident. With the other paladins fitting their respective roles so perfectly, he’d been the only one left--the last, most subpar option.

His presence was, and always would be, unnecessary. 

Lance smothered these doubts with a cocky facade. Fake it ‘til you make it, that was his plan. And although his false bravado was able to keep the others from catching on, it could never make the pain go away. Lance may have had the others convinced, but he couldn’t possibly lie to himself, not when every single error, even those spanning back years ago, was deeply ingrained into his mind, constantly reminding him just how much of a disappointment he was. His dread was ever-present, the paralyzing fear that one day, his careless slipups would cost them the war, and in turn, the universe. 

In a weird, hilariously twisted way, the anxiety over putting his friends (if they even considered him one) in danger was one of the few things that kept him going. Sure, he may not have been vital to the team, but he didn't exactly want to hand-deliver Zarkon’s victory, either. In order to become a worthy paladin, Lance needed to step up his game, and fast...before he was left behind.

He wanted to live up to their expectations. He wanted to prove himself to them. More than anything, he wanted to finally be of value to the team he’d grown to love. And if that meant committing reckless acts of self-sacrifice, then so be it.

But fate had a sick sense of humor. 

In the heat of battle, Lance’s grand opportunity arose, the chance to throw himself into the fray for the greater good. And of course it just had to involve Keith.

The guy was reckless through and through, always on the brink of getting himself killed, and this situation was no different. They'd been infiltrating a secluded Galra outpost--a familiar task that had become almost commonplace from the sheer number of instances. 

But this time was different.

Collaboration with the Blade of Marmora had quickly proven fruitful. Now backed by the rebellion, they'd been able to strike the Empire harder than ever before. The Marmora warriors were fierce allies and even fiercer opponents, each blow to Zarkon’s forces more devastating than the last. With every small victory, they started to gain confidence.

Maybe a little too much confidence.

Lowering their guard had been a dire lapse in judgement. With Zarkon incapacitated, they’d allowed themselves to succumb to a false sense of security, falling into an easy routine of hit-and-run tactics. 

No one had expected an all-out ambush.

Lance had been the first one to notice. He’d sensed it on a subconscious level, creeping uneasiness plaguing him. The inexplicable nagging sensation could only be described as intuition, a feeling of caution born from the basest of instincts. But before he could blurt out a warning, it was already too late.

Leave it to Lance to let his whole team waltz right into the belly of the beast.

If he'd reacted faster, been more careful...maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. If he was given the chance, he would’ve approached things differently. But there were no do-overs in life, especially not in war. Lance had to face the consequences of his actions (or lack thereof), and he would have to do so alone.

Maybe it was for the best.

It wasn’t that he regretted taking a laser to the chest for his rival. Jumping in front of him to block the shot had been a perfectly natural reaction, Lance reasoned. But seeing Keith practically seething with rage at his simple, protective gesture sent a startled shiver down his spine. Shortly after Lance had collapsed into a crumpled heap, if the crazed glint in his eyes was anything to go by, then Keith, ever the hothead, had been estimating how many throats he could cut ‘til the ground turned as red as his lion.

Keith’s voice had been strained and desperate, sporadically fluctuating between low, anguished cries and bitter declarations of vengeance.

And in the end, Lance couldn’t help but feel like some of that fury was directed at him. Keith probably thought he was a selfish idiot, and the truth hit him harder than the burning purple blast that had corroded his armor and skin. Even when he tried to do the right thing, he still ended up hurting people. It was the last thought his muddled brain could muster before blacking out.

Life really was a cruel bitch.

**Author's Note:**

> whoops I'm projecting 
> 
> ...should i develop this any more,,,


End file.
